Top 5 Reasons Why Jesus Was the Highlight of Easter 2012

Hello, Readers:

Easter Sunday just isn’t what it used to be. It’s actually probably the same, but I’m just not involved in all of pageantry any longer. I guess that’s what being an adult is all about – reality and accepting things for what they really are instead of what they should be. Easter 2012 was one of those moments for me.

As I walked into church (eventually), I realized that Jesus was going to be the peak of the day, the tip of the top, the ultimate, and nothing else would even come in at a close second. Not even if Marc Jacobs showed up at church with a seat reserved for me and informed me that he, the Prince of Fashion, wanted to be my BFF for life. Not even if the Easter Bunny greeted me with a basket filled with a Kettle One martini and Harry Winston’s New York Collection. So here are the Top 5 Reasons why Jesus was the highlight of Easter 2012.

Reason #5 – I didn’t want to go through the whole hair, makeup and wardrobe rigamarole. I know I should be excited to present myself before the Lord, but I feel like all I ever do is prepare to get somewhere and drive to get somewhere. I’ll never be satisfied until I have a full-time staff for hair, makeup and driver. Wish me luck on that. As I sat in bed reading my Twitter feeds, Chef Roble’s tweet, “You betta wake up for Jesus” actually gave me a little push.

Reason #4 – It was cold. I thought I could trick the sun into coming out by wearing a yellow dress. It didn’t work. I was pretty much the brightest thing outstide until about 1:30 that afternoon.

Rease #3 – Traffic. Easter Sunday is a standard backslider holiday. For all reasons, it should be. Above all, it’s the most important Sunday of all time. Because of the vast amount of backsliders present, traffic to and from church added an extra 40 minutes onto my normal travel time. It took me 25 minutes just to get into the church parking lot and 15 minutes to get out.

Reason #4 – Lackluster Litter Girls – no frills, no lace, no over-the-top ruffles, and most of all, no white stockings. What are the mothers of today doing? For me, Easter was THE HOLIDAY, second only to my birthday! Many of you might have heard my Easter story. Easter Sunday 1984 was when I first made my debut onto the fashion scene. My mother had me looking lovely. Hat, two-layers of ruffles and gloves. Yes, gloves! But here’s the deal, I was such a fashionable little lady, I took it upon myself to wear only one glove like Michael Jackson. That was my shining moment. That is, until my mother quickly shot it down, and hence the world never got a chance to see my fashion triumph.

Reason #2 – BUGS. It’s Spring! Flowers are blooming and bugs are buzzing. In particular, the bugs are buzzing in my hairs and curly hair don’t mix. You can whisk away a bug from a straight style, but not with what I have going on. It takes tools! Walking from my car through the church parking lot, I was violated by two different bugs of two different species (I’m assuming). One was green and the other was yellow. Why are there so many different types of bugs?!?!? Isn’t one bug type enough? Bugs always aim for my hair. I managed to swat the green bug away, but the yellow bug walked into church with me. I’m guessing he made his way out eventually.

Reason #1 – THE ULTIMATE GIFT. JOHN 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. What better gift than for someone to give their life for you. The burn in hell forever option just isn’t going to work for me. Good thing I’ve made the right choice.

Overall, the bugs, the cold, the lackluster little girls fashion made Easter 2012 memorable. I’m so happy I had a chance to appreciate the day as well. Enjoy.

Sincerely, Ty

Girl, How Do You Do What You Do?: Bathroom Edition

Hello, readers:

Many times people ask me, “Girl, how do you do what you do?” Most of the time I take all the credit. However, if there’s anything fabulous about me at all, it can be attributed to the following people:

1.  My dear friend Angela who taught me how to be beautiful inside and out.
2. My Uncle Maurice who was and always is fabulous. He knew I was hot stuff even at age 4.
3. My parents who made magic when they created me. In that case, add God to the list too.
4.  Oprah, Lena, Naomi, Tyra (the other one), Audrey, Claire Huxtable, Diana (the Diva), Diana (the princess) and Janet. I’ve been a copy cat of these lovely ladies for quite some time.

Can you too be as fabulous as me? Can you do what I do? Perhaps. But as I stated above, it takes a great friend, a fab uncle, genetic magic, a push from GOD and absolutely stealing the styles of all your favorites divas for a timeframe of 30 years plus. Good luck with that. While you practice on being fabulous, how about I give you a sneak peak into my fabulous bathroom. Horrible segue? Yes, but I’m tired, slightly delusional and I had to suck you in somehow. Don’t worry, it gets better.

Girl, How Do You Do What You Do: Bathroom Edition: Take a sneak peak into my bathroom. Friends always comment on how they wish they had the time to make their bathrooms as nice as mine. Honestly, I spent one Saturday afternoon at the mall purchasing a few items and about an hour or so actually putting everything together. Also, the bathroom isn’t all that fab if you really think about it - it’s just clean, organzied and decorated with a few overpriced accesories. You guys are suckers from a few knick-knacks. Nevertheless, your bathroom can be fabulous too!

ENJOY!!!

THE COUNTER – Cleaning off the counter is half the battle; keeping it clean it the other half. Buy some nice containers to hold your everyday go-to items. My favroite spot is West Elm. I bought a storage box and removed the top. Many of my go-to items are arranged nicely inside the box. The key is that all my madness is hidden. Then I added a lamp for a little personal style and decorated with my own jewelry. Easy, breezy, organized.

 ACCESSORY HOLDERS – These little holders are so cute! They’re probably actually hors d’oeuvre plates (shrug). I bought a couple from West Elm. Great for holding all your earrings that you wear during the week.

           

SETTING THE MOOD – I love to take baths! The little table next to the tub holds all my essentials – bath salts and candles. I also added a few other items. Containers from Walmart – no more than $3.0o each. Candle holders from World Market – $1.oo max.

     

 IN THE SHOWER – So I used the box top as a hard surface to hold shampoos and all my other goodies. It makes keeping the shower clean and organized a lot easier!

              

 I hope you all enjoyed this. You people are a mess. Let me help you get it together. Of course, I’ll charge you my standard rate, but you’ll be better off in the end.

Contact me when you’re ready to get it together! sincerelyty@sincerelyty.com

Sincerely, Ty

COMING SOON!!!   www.sincerelyty.com

Pucker Up!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!

Valentine’s Day is one of favorite holidays. I absolutely love “love.” If that made any sense to you at all, please continue reading. Below is a list of all the things I’ve been absolutely crazy in love with these days.

• God (obvious)
• My family, friends and loved ones (another obvious one)
• Cuties – Not the little oranges that people are obsessed with these days – I’m talking men. Nothing brightens my day more than seeing a cutie (cute, handsome, adorable, etc, etc, etc good-looking man).
• Kissable lips – That’s right! God, family, men and lips. That’s my list and I’m sticking to it.

I don’t feel the need to carry-on about my top two loves, and my taste in men can be an on-going topic which I’ll obsess over in later posts. However, I can offer lots of advice on kissable lips. Lately I’ve noticed that due to the winter weather, it’s become difficult for some of us (including me) to keep our lips soft and moisturized. One of my friends has the absolute ashiest (is that a word?) lips ever. He refuses to use chapstick, and when I offer him my lipgloss he gives me full-blown side-eye. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I gave him my old-school remedy for solving his case of DAWLS – Dry Ashy Winter Lip Syndrome. Yep, just made that up. Still not sure how I feel about it. So here’s the remedy. IT WORKS! Live by it.

Remedy for DAWLS

1. Purchase a soft-bristle toothbrush and travel size of Vaseline. Not the lotion, THE VASELINE. You know exactly what I’m talking about. This should all cost you $3.00 max. Pretty sure you have sugar at home. If not, borrow some from the neighbor.
2. Go into the privacy of your own bathroom. I hate to be so particular, but my friend asked me if he could perform this task at his cubicle. The answer was “NO.”
3.  Slightly wet the toothbrush.
4. Place the toothbrush bristles into the Vaseline and apply a slight film to cover the bristles.
5. Dip the bristles into the sugar. You only need a bit of sugar. Don’t go overboard and give your lips a diabetic coma – just a little dusting.
6. Use the exact same motion on your lips as you would when brushing your teeth. Not too hard – be gentle. Perform this motion on each lip. If your lips are really dry, you’ll see the skin peel off. That’s means that you really need to work harder at keeping your lips moisturized.
7. Wipe off mixture with a damp washcloth.
8. Apply your favorite lip balm.
9. Drink lots of water.
10. Give your honey a huge Happy Valentine’s Day kiss.

Sincerely, Ty

P.S. What is it with those Cuties anyway? I don’t get why people are so excited about small oranges.

COMING SOON: WWW.SINCERELYTY.COM

How Deep Is Your Tuck?

How Deep Is Your Tuck?

During an evening out with a guy friend, I noticed a fairly, nice-looking gentleman in my peripheral who was the most recent victim of bad winter fashion. First of all, he was wearing a white turtleneck. Not a mock turtleneck often worn by the more mature men in the office, but a real turtleneck that most likely required him to fold it a time or two (more like five) to the get it perfect. To make matters worse, the turtleneck was tucked so tightly that my friend and I both agreed that it must have been tucked into his undies. To give the guy the benefit of the doubt, the turtleneck was clean. That’s about as far as I can stretch it.
After witnessing the deep tuck, my friend and I discussed the issue. As a fairly fashionable guy, he felt the need to mention that there are different levels of tucking. Seriously? Yes, seriously. Apparently guys have different tucking styles for each occasion. I assumed that most men bought shirts that fit well and could be tucked in as usual – tuck front, tuck back, tuck sides, zip, belt and go. Anything that couldn’t be tucked in this fashion would be deemed as a piece of clothing that did not fit or didn’t need to be tucked at all. Wrong!

From this conversation sparked a little research and observation on my part. I didn’t go around stalking random men, but I did eyeball a few. Below are some key rules applicable to the fellas when it comes to tucking. I thought most men were knowledgeable of these rules. My research concluded that apparently there are quite a few men who require a little guidance.

1. Dress shirt – We all know this style. Buy a nicely fitted shirt, well-fitted pants, wear a belt and you can’t go wrong. Beware of wearing pants too high!
2. T-shirt – Even if they cost $80, T-shirts are meant to be casual. A regular t-shirt worn as the FEATURE/MAIN piece of clothing should be worn un-tucked. However, if the t-shirt is NOT the main feature and is to be worn under another shirt, you’ll definitely want to tuck it.
3. The “Muscle” Shirt – I know that none of my male readers and/or male clients wear muscle shirts outside of the gym – at least I hope not. But just in case any of you want to go there, then this is for you. You’ve all seen this shirt. Men who have muscles and like to show them off tend to wear them. Muscles aren’t my issue – tucking in the muscle shirt is. I don’t care how many muscles you have, we can still see all of them without the tuck. Even if it’s a rayon blend (no!!!), it’s still a t-shirt. T-shirt=relax=this is not serious=no tuck required. The only way you can get away with tucking in this type of t-shirt is if it’s the dressier type and is layered with a blazer, or if you’re a male go-go dancer and it’s part of your uniform.
4. Sweater – Never tuck in a sweater. THE END.

Please be aware that there are some exceptions to the rule – ala the plaid shirt. Tucked or un-tucked, I like it either way, or both. But in general, if you’re just a guy trying to make it every day, then I’d suggest you stick with the basics and leave the exceptions to the guys who like to dabble in men’s fashion.

And remember, SINCERELY TY is here to assist with your fashion dilemmas. Contact me today to schedule your FREE CONSULTATION!!!

Sincerely Ty

Style Etiquette Session: Holy vs Hussy

Hussy (1980)

My aunt and I often call other women, and sometimes eachother, “hussy” just for funsies. Although we really don’t mean it (kinda), the word rolls off our tonugues’ very easily, without filters and without regret, to describe a woman who appears loose, promiscuous, the floozy type, etc. Every Sunday morning while in preparation for church, after hair, makeup and wardrobe are complete, I look in the mirror and ask myself, “Do I look like a hussy?” Now understand that my wardrobe is stylish, classic and safe. There are a lot of animal prints and a little bit of spandex, but those items are usually not reserved for church. However, I always feel the need to ask myself the question: Holy or Hussy?

I can recall one evening during cocktails with a few friends, a young lady mentioned that her grandmother called her a “hussy” because she had the nerve to show up to church sans pantyhose. From what I can recall about the conversation, her grandmother was 175 years old, lived in Alabama or Mississippi (or something of the sorts) and it was 112 degrees outside on the day of the bare-legged scandal. This really bothered me. I absolutely despise wearing pantyhose to church, as did my crew for the evening. As a church member who likes to feel welcomed in one’s church environment, I look forward to the day when the more mature women in the church will eventually pass the torch to the women of my generation. But if they think I’m going to wear pantyhose in the heat of the summer, then they’ve got another thing coming. Why won’t I assimilate?

1. I can never find my shade. You would think that brown with yellow undertones would be easy to weave together. Guess not. I often have to settle for something in between. Basically, I have special skin. A sunkissed complexion to which only God knows the formula. I’m just saying.

2. Pantyhose are such a nuisance. My dress/shoe combinations don’t particularly call for them. Patterned tights? Yes. Thigh Highs? Yes. Sun Shade Hose most famous for being seen on the runways of Sunrise Assisted Living as well as my grandmother’s sock drawer? Definitely no!

In addition to the hosiery issue, there is also the feeling of not covering up the bosoms well enough. Being a small-bosomed woman, I thought I’d be exempt. Negative. Apparently men like chest meat of all sizes. Showing it to them makes them like it more. So for the past few years I’ve invested in all types of camisoles, tanks, slips, etc. All of this to appear to modest in my appearance.

I say this all in jest, but honestly, this is Sincerely Ty’s Style Etiquette Rule #5: Dress Appropriately. Appearance is important. Learning how to dress for the occasion is key to making a good impression. Whether it be at church or at work, you want to learn how to show your own personal style while also being respectful of others.

Remember, no is perfect. I’ve broken many of the style rules myself.

If you’re tired of being the hussy/floozy type, I can help. Contact me to schedule one of my styling sessions. I also offer FREE Sincerely Ty Style Etiquette sessions to non-profits, schools and other organizations – children and adults welcome!

 

Sincerely Ty

COMING SOON!!!   www.sincerelyty.com

P.S. There are a slew of Proverbs that exemplify why dressing like a hussy is bad. YIKES! Maybe God will forgive us if we only dress like hussies Thurs – Saturday? 3 out of 7 days walking in sin isn’t so bad. Could be worse.

Hello, we’re waiting!!!

Hello, readers:

I know you are all waiting for the website. People like to see what they’re getting these days. Although my everyday style and undying charm should be enough to book my services (tee hee), I completely understand. It’s coming soon – we’re basically down to days. You’ll love it! In the meantime, my basic services and rates are listed below for you to view. Please feel free to contact me.

PERSONAL SHOPPING – 3 HOUR SESSION – $60.00/hr

Shopping experience ranges from seasonal preparation, special events or everyday style.  

STYLE TO GO – Price determination based upon request

Style To Go can assist in finding that ideal purse, a particular watch, items seen on television and magazines, or whatever you desire.

 PERSONAL STYLING – 1-2 HOUR SESSION – $60.00/hr

Several looks are created to compliment the client for any occasion. This is the best option for clients who want to learn how to coordinate their current wardrobe. One-hour sessions are also great for holiday events, date nights, interviews and new mommies!

 CLOSET ORGANIZING – 3 HOUR SESSION – $60.00/hr

 This session will give you a visual of what you need to keep and what you need to toss. Client will receive a complete register of their current wardrobe, a wish list of new items to be purchased and a suggested list of items that have lost their flair.

  SHOP YOUR CLOSET – 3 HOUR SESSION – $60.00/hr

Take a trip through your closet and shop around for styles without leaving your home. This service is ideal for those who love to shop but never have anything to wear. Client will receive an assessment of their closet inventory and learn ways to put together the best ensembles.

GROUP STYLING – Price determination based upon request

Don’t want to go about transitioning alone? Know a group of friends who would like to revamp their style as well? Call to book your group event.

STYLE ETIQUETTE SESSION – 3 HOURS

$60 PER HOUR (Gratis services offered to schools and non-profit organizations)

Session covers the 10 Commandments of Style Etiquette, Daily Appearance and Hygiene, Attitude and Everyday Etiquette, Good and Bad Habits, Style Language and Style Definition.

 

***Also, check out my pending website and let me know what you think so far. I mean, you’re online anyway.***

www.sincerelyty.com

Sincerely, Ty

Sincerely Ty: New and Improved

Sincerely Ty

Hello, readers!

Thank you for your continued support throughout the years. It’s been a while. I’ve been around the globe and back again. From Texas, to Africa, to the MidEast and finally settled into my new life in the nation’s capital, Washington, DC. I’ve explored my talents and honed my craft as a stylist. I haven’t yet given up on my dream as a writer and will continue to reach the interests of my readers with my wit and charm. Only change is that this go ’round the blog will focus on me as a stylist and my new business venture, Sincerely Ty. That’s right! I’m an official business specializing in closet organizing, personnal shopping and fashion consulting. No worries, there will always be a little bit of crazy that my life tends to include. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Sincerely, Ty

Coming soon…www.sincerelyty.com!!!

Blood Diamond Barbie

YO!!!

I really wish you people would stop reading this madness. Seriously, please stop. Everytime I think of finally committing myself, I take a look at the blog stats and think, ‘Ahhh, someone actually gives a fat rat.’ But for real, for real – whoever is reading this madness, THANKS!

Anyway honeys, I am currently in Africa. Can’t tell you where and why – It’s on some ‘If I tell you I’ll have to kill you’ type of shit. But I am definitely here and it has been a great learning experience.  The land is beautiful, the people are enchanting. I can’t think of a better place to be…other than America.

Being an American has never felt better than it has these past weeks. You guys at home are living th good life – Starbucks, stawberries, cupcakes, Taco Bueno, fresh spinach leaves, Secret Clinical strength. You think there’s any of that stuff here in Africa? Think again, suckas. I can’t get a cupcake or an acceptable pastry to save my life. I order the chocolate cake every other day or so just to see if it’s fresh. Wrong move! Same dry-ass cake everytime. And good thing I didn’t go with the Oh-I’ll-just-get-it-in-Africa approach. Let’s just say the healthy/beauty and feminine hygiene section is lacking. A girl’s gotta have options.

Back to my proud to be an American moment. These people are broke for real. Not the I-have-to-use-food-stamps kinda broke, or the I’m-a-single-mother broke, but the deordorant-and-shoes-are-optional type of broke. Now I know there are plenty of poverty stricken people in American, but I can do nothing but crack up when I even compare the two. Last week, upon my arrival to the airport, I saw a one-legged, one-crutched man hop full speed in my direction, offering (begging) to carry my luggage. How was he gonna do it? I don’t know. And then there are tons of paraplegic people here without wheelchairs. They get wherever they need to go the best way they can, which is usually by hand. So the next time one of DC’s finest asks me for change, I’ll say, “Two legs and a Nike shirt? Sorry, I’m not getting enough suffering from you.”

I promise I won’t get all righteous on you guys. And if I do, it’ll only last a week.

Pray for me while I’m away.

Sincerely, ty!

Damn thee, Mali!!!

I’ve been busy, damn it! Give me a break! Sorry about the loooong absence, especially since my previous blog made it seem like I was back to stay. Lies, lies, lies. Never believe anything I have to say when it has to do with a committment. But anyway, so what have I been doing? Well, the j-o-b has got me goin’ nuts. Sometimes I just sit at my desk, gaze at my neverending stack, and say, “Damn thee, ye wretched pile of work!”

Anyway, so I’m on my way home from work today, and I come to the realization that I’m probably going to need a new car in about 3-6 months. Random malfunctions keep occuring and the stress of it is making me want to throw the Mali (P.O.S car) over a cliff. It’s crazy because the items that have issues seem to be stuff that’s not supposed to break on a car . 

First malfunction – Blinker:  It seems to be that Mali seems to know the exact time to be uncooperative - lunch time. For the last two weeks, my blinker has refused to work during lunch. This is truly when I need it the most. People are relentless during the lunch hour and aren’t kind to people who just smash on their brakes and cut their way in. Sorry lady in the grey Tahoe. How does the blinker stop working anyway? Is that even something that can be fixed or replaced? Damn thee blinker!

Second malfunction – Lack of sun visors: About the first year of having my car, the sun visors decided to commit suicide. Yes, they jumped off their hinges and lept to their death. As a result, I can’t block the setting sun. Sun in the face is a bitch after a long day at work. Such a shame – picture me stylin’ in diva shades while blocking the sun with my hands. Shades help, but sometimes the sun is at a spot where you just gotta have a visor or a midget sitting on your dash blocking the sun.

Third malfunction – AC button: Apparently Mali’s AC needs to be convinced in order for it to cooperate. It takes about 10 violent pushes of the button to get it going. Although once it’s going, it’s good to go, but then it refuses to turn off. The Texas heat is no place for an AC with an attitude. So you have two options: 1) Work up a sweat trying to push the damn AC button, or  2)Freeze your ass of for the rest of the trip.

So that makes 3 strikes. It’s about time for a new car anyway. The Mali is being a huge asshole and I don’t have time for anymore of its foolishness.

Sincerely, ty!

 

Special Request

I know most of you are like, “I thought you were back?” Well, I am back, but I can’t give you all my goodness at once. I figured I would give it to you in doses. You know, like two or three times a week. BWW (Blogging While Working) is really hard, especially if your co-workers are nosy. I don’t know how many times a day I get, “Who was that” after I get off a phone call. Umm…it was none of your damn business, hence the soft tone and the silent chuckles. 

My co-workers have no problem projecting all their personal information out into the workplace. Unfortunately, due to his lack of a inside voice, I now know that one of my coworkers is divorced to a crack-head who caused him to go bankrupt. TMI, homie, TMI. To make matters worse, a few days after being succumbed to the unwanted information, I felt sorry for the guy and asked him how everything was going. You know, the crack-headex-wife, being a single father, the lack of good credit, etc. He turned a response, which should’ve been, “Fine,” or “Taking it day-by-day,” into a long drawn out story that ultimately turned out to be a tale about him trying to buy a baby momma on the internet. Hey, those kids need a mother and if paying a one-time fee of $10,000 is all it takes to get those little hellions off his back, then I say go for it.

This week it was spring break for his little demons, and I swear I heard him cuss them out at least 10 times each day. They called him everyday for the dumbest sh**. Can I ride my bike? Can I have a banana? I’m bored. He hit me. Forget the internet baby momma! Sell their little asses to the Cuban mafia. I bet those little hands would be perfect for rolling cigars. All jokes aside, this guy is really sweet. He’s a hard-working single father who needs someone special (and sexy, per his request) to make his life grand. So if you are down for making sweet love to an over 40 stallion (so he says), and don’t mind being a mother to two little hellions, then leave your email address and a full length picture. All women should apply, especially Filipino, Thai and anything else you see for sale on the internet. Sorry, just being honest.

 Sincerely,

ty

 P.S.

Over it – Militant minister coverage

All about it- Media trying to dig up “dirt” on Ashley Alexandra Dupre and the ch-ching she is being offered to pose nude from the likes of Larry Flint and Joe Francis. Don’t you just love high-priced ho’s? The ho-locity just pulls you in.