How Deep Is Your Tuck?

During an evening out with a guy friend, I noticed a fairly, nice-looking gentleman in my peripheral who was the most recent victim of bad winter fashion. First of all, he was wearing a white turtleneck. Not a mock turtleneck often worn by the more mature men in the office, but a real turtleneck that most likely required him to fold it a time or two (more like five) to the get it perfect. To make matters worse, the turtleneck was tucked so tightly that my friend and I both agreed that it must have been tucked into his undies. To give the guy the benefit of the doubt, the turtleneck was clean. That’s about as far as I can stretch it.
After witnessing the deep tuck, my friend and I discussed the issue. As a fairly fashionable guy, he felt the need to mention that there are different levels of tucking. Seriously? Yes, seriously. Apparently guys have different tucking styles for each occasion. I assumed that most men bought shirts that fit well and could be tucked in as usual – tuck front, tuck back, tuck sides, zip, belt and go. Anything that couldn’t be tucked in this fashion would be deemed as a piece of clothing that did not fit or didn’t need to be tucked at all. Wrong!

From this conversation sparked a little research and observation on my part. I didn’t go around stalking random men, but I did eyeball a few. Below are some key rules applicable to the fellas when it comes to tucking. I thought most men were knowledgeable of these rules. My research concluded that apparently there are quite a few men who require a little guidance.

1. Dress shirt – We all know this style. Buy a nicely fitted shirt, well-fitted pants, wear a belt and you can’t go wrong. Beware of wearing pants too high!
2. T-shirt – Even if they cost $80, T-shirts are meant to be casual. A regular t-shirt worn as the FEATURE/MAIN piece of clothing should be worn un-tucked. However, if the t-shirt is NOT the main feature and is to be worn under another shirt, you’ll definitely want to tuck it.
3. The “Muscle” Shirt – I know that none of my male readers and/or male clients wear muscle shirts outside of the gym – at least I hope not. But just in case any of you want to go there, then this is for you. You’ve all seen this shirt. Men who have muscles and like to show them off tend to wear them. Muscles aren’t my issue – tucking in the muscle shirt is. I don’t care how many muscles you have, we can still see all of them without the tuck. Even if it’s a rayon blend (no!!!), it’s still a t-shirt. T-shirt=relax=this is not serious=no tuck required. The only way you can get away with tucking in this type of t-shirt is if it’s the dressier type and is layered with a blazer, or if you’re a male go-go dancer and it’s part of your uniform.
4. Sweater – Never tuck in a sweater. THE END.

Please be aware that there are some exceptions to the rule – ala the plaid shirt. Tucked or un-tucked, I like it either way, or both. But in general, if you’re just a guy trying to make it every day, then I’d suggest you stick with the basics and leave the exceptions to the guys who like to dabble in men’s fashion.

And remember, SINCERELY TY is here to assist with your fashion dilemmas. Contact me today to schedule your FREE CONSULTATION!!!

Sincerely Ty

Hussy (1980)

My aunt and I often call other women, and sometimes eachother, “hussy” just for funsies. Although we really don’t mean it (kinda), the word rolls off our tonugues’ very easily, without filters and without regret, to describe a woman who appears loose, promiscuous, the floozy type, etc. Every Sunday morning while in preparation for church, after hair, makeup and wardrobe are complete, I look in the mirror and ask myself, “Do I look like a hussy?” Now understand that my wardrobe is stylish, classic and safe. There are a lot of animal prints and a little bit of spandex, but those items are usually not reserved for church. However, I always feel the need to ask myself the question: Holy or Hussy?

I can recall one evening during cocktails with a few friends, a young lady mentioned that her grandmother called her a “hussy” because she had the nerve to show up to church sans pantyhose. From what I can recall about the conversation, her grandmother was 175 years old, lived in Alabama or Mississippi (or something of the sorts) and it was 112 degrees outside on the day of the bare-legged scandal. This really bothered me. I absolutely despise wearing pantyhose to church, as did my crew for the evening. As a church member who likes to feel welcomed in one’s church environment, I look forward to the day when the more mature women in the church will eventually pass the torch to the women of my generation. But if they think I’m going to wear pantyhose in the heat of the summer, then they’ve got another thing coming. Why won’t I assimilate?

1. I can never find my shade. You would think that brown with yellow undertones would be easy to weave together. Guess not. I often have to settle for something in between. Basically, I have special skin. A sunkissed complexion to which only God knows the formula. I’m just saying.

2. Pantyhose are such a nuisance. My dress/shoe combinations don’t particularly call for them. Patterned tights? Yes. Thigh Highs? Yes. Sun Shade Hose most famous for being seen on the runways of Sunrise Assisted Living as well as my grandmother’s sock drawer? Definitely no!

In addition to the hosiery issue, there is also the feeling of not covering up the bosoms well enough. Being a small-bosomed woman, I thought I’d be exempt. Negative. Apparently men like chest meat of all sizes. Showing it to them makes them like it more. So for the past few years I’ve invested in all types of camisoles, tanks, slips, etc. All of this to appear to modest in my appearance.

I say this all in jest, but honestly, this is Sincerely Ty’s Style Etiquette Rule #5: Dress Appropriately. Appearance is important. Learning how to dress for the occasion is key to making a good impression. Whether it be at church or at work, you want to learn how to show your own personal style while also being respectful of others.

Remember, no is perfect. I’ve broken many of the style rules myself.

If you’re tired of being the hussy/floozy type, I can help. Contact me to schedule one of my styling sessions. I also offer FREE Sincerely Ty Style Etiquette sessions to non-profits, schools and other organizations – children and adults welcome!

Sincerely Ty

COMING SOON!!!   www.sincerelyty.com

P.S. There are a slew of Proverbs that exemplify why dressing like a hussy is bad. YIKES! Maybe God will forgive us if we only dress like hussies Thurs – Saturday? 3 out of 7 days walking in sin isn’t so bad. Could be worse.

I know you are all waiting for the website. People like to see what they’re getting these days. Although my everyday style and undying charm should be enough to book my services (tee hee), I completely understand. It’s coming soon – we’re basically down to days. You’ll love it! In the meantime, my basic services and rates are listed below for you to view. Please feel free to contact me.

PERSONAL SHOPPING – 3 HOUR SESSION – $60.00/hr

Shopping experience ranges from seasonal preparation, special events or everyday style.  

STYLE TO GO – Price determination based upon request

Style To Go can assist in finding that ideal purse, a particular watch, items seen on television and magazines, or whatever you desire.

 PERSONAL STYLING – 1-2 HOUR SESSION – $60.00/hr

Several looks are created to compliment the client for any occasion. This is the best option for clients who want to learn how to coordinate their current wardrobe. One-hour sessions are also great for holiday events, date nights, interviews and new mommies!

 CLOSET ORGANIZING – 3 HOUR SESSION – $60.00/hr

 This session will give you a visual of what you need to keep and what you need to toss. Client will receive a complete register of their current wardrobe, a wish list of new items to be purchased and a suggested list of items that have lost their flair.

  SHOP YOUR CLOSET – 3 HOUR SESSION – $60.00/hr

Take a trip through your closet and shop around for styles without leaving your home. This service is ideal for those who love to shop but never have anything to wear. Client will receive an assessment of their closet inventory and learn ways to put together the best ensembles.

GROUP STYLING – Price determination based upon request

Don’t want to go about transitioning alone? Know a group of friends who would like to revamp their style as well? Call to book your group event.

STYLE ETIQUETTE SESSION – 3 HOURS

$60 PER HOUR (Gratis services offered to schools and non-profit organizations)

Session covers the 10 Commandments of Style Etiquette, Daily Appearance and Hygiene, Attitude and Everyday Etiquette, Good and Bad Habits, Style Language and Style Definition.

***Also, check out my pending website and let me know what you think so far. I mean, you’re online anyway.***

www.sincerelyty.com

Sincerely, Ty

Sincerely Ty

Hello, readers!

Thank you for your continued support throughout the years. It’s been a while. I’ve been around the globe and back again. From Texas, to Africa, to the MidEast and finally settled into my new life in the nation’s capital, Washington, DC. I’ve explored my talents and honed my craft as a stylist. I haven’t yet given up on my dream as a writer and will continue to reach the interests of my readers with my wit and charm. Only change is that this go ’round the blog will focus on me as a stylist and my new business venture, Sincerely Ty. That’s right! I’m an official business specializing in closet organizing, personnal shopping and fashion consulting. No worries, there will always be a little bit of crazy that my life tends to include. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Sincerely, Ty

Coming soon…www.sincerelyty.com!!!

I really wish you people would stop reading this madness. Seriously, please stop. Everytime I think of finally committing myself, I take a look at the blog stats and think, ‘Ahhh, someone actually gives a fat rat.’ But for real, for real – whoever is reading this madness, THANKS!

Anyway honeys, I am currently in Africa. Can’t tell you where and why – It’s on some ‘If I tell you I’ll have to kill you’ type of shit. But I am definitely here and it has been a great learning experience.  The land is beautiful, the people are enchanting. I can’t think of a better place to be…other than America.

Being an American has never felt better than it has these past weeks. You guys at home are living th good life – Starbucks, stawberries, cupcakes, Taco Bueno, fresh spinach leaves, Secret Clinical strength. You think there’s any of that stuff here in Africa? Think again, suckas. I can’t get a cupcake or an acceptable pastry to save my life. I order the chocolate cake every other day or so just to see if it’s fresh. Wrong move! Same dry-ass cake everytime. And good thing I didn’t go with the Oh-I’ll-just-get-it-in-Africa approach. Let’s just say the healthy/beauty and feminine hygiene section is lacking. A girl’s gotta have options.

Back to my proud to be an American moment. These people are broke for real. Not the I-have-to-use-food-stamps kinda broke, or the I’m-a-single-mother broke, but the deordorant-and-shoes-are-optional type of broke. Now I know there are plenty of poverty stricken people in American, but I can do nothing but crack up when I even compare the two. Last week, upon my arrival to the airport, I saw a one-legged, one-crutched man hop full speed in my direction, offering (begging) to carry my luggage. How was he gonna do it? I don’t know. And then there are tons of paraplegic people here without wheelchairs. They get wherever they need to go the best way they can, which is usually by hand. So the next time one of DC’s finest asks me for change, I’ll say, “Two legs and a Nike shirt? Sorry, I’m not getting enough suffering from you.”

I promise I won’t get all righteous on you guys. And if I do, it’ll only last a week.

Pray for me while I’m away.

Sincerely, ty!

Anyway, so I’m on my way home from work today, and I come to the realization that I’m probably going to need a new car in about 3-6 months. Random malfunctions keep occuring and the stress of it is making me want to throw the Mali (P.O.S car) over a cliff. It’s crazy because the items that have issues seem to be stuff that’s not supposed to break on a car . 

First malfunction – Blinker:  It seems to be that Mali seems to know the exact time to be uncooperative - lunch time. For the last two weeks, my blinker has refused to work during lunch. This is truly when I need it the most. People are relentless during the lunch hour and aren’t kind to people who just smash on their brakes and cut their way in. Sorry lady in the grey Tahoe. How does the blinker stop working anyway? Is that even something that can be fixed or replaced? Damn thee blinker!

Second malfunction – Lack of sun visors: About the first year of having my car, the sun visors decided to commit suicide. Yes, they jumped off their hinges and lept to their death. As a result, I can’t block the setting sun. Sun in the face is a bitch after a long day at work. Such a shame – picture me stylin’ in diva shades while blocking the sun with my hands. Shades help, but sometimes the sun is at a spot where you just gotta have a visor or a midget sitting on your dash blocking the sun.

Third malfunction – AC button: Apparently Mali’s AC needs to be convinced in order for it to cooperate. It takes about 10 violent pushes of the button to get it going. Although once it’s going, it’s good to go, but then it refuses to turn off. The Texas heat is no place for an AC with an attitude. So you have two options: 1) Work up a sweat trying to push the damn AC button, or  2)Freeze your ass of for the rest of the trip.

So that makes 3 strikes. It’s about time for a new car anyway. The Mali is being a huge asshole and I don’t have time for anymore of its foolishness.

Sincerely, ty!

My co-workers have no problem projecting all their personal information out into the workplace. Unfortunately, due to his lack of a inside voice, I now know that one of my coworkers is divorced to a crack-head who caused him to go bankrupt. TMI, homie, TMI. To make matters worse, a few days after being succumbed to the unwanted information, I felt sorry for the guy and asked him how everything was going. You know, the crack-headex-wife, being a single father, the lack of good credit, etc. He turned a response, which should’ve been, “Fine,” or “Taking it day-by-day,” into a long drawn out story that ultimately turned out to be a tale about him trying to buy a baby momma on the internet. Hey, those kids need a mother and if paying a one-time fee of $10,000 is all it takes to get those little hellions off his back, then I say go for it.

This week it was spring break for his little demons, and I swear I heard him cuss them out at least 10 times each day. They called him everyday for the dumbest sh**. Can I ride my bike? Can I have a banana? I’m bored. He hit me. Forget the internet baby momma! Sell their little asses to the Cuban mafia. I bet those little hands would be perfect for rolling cigars. All jokes aside, this guy is really sweet. He’s a hard-working single father who needs someone special (and sexy, per his request) to make his life grand. So if you are down for making sweet love to an over 40 stallion (so he says), and don’t mind being a mother to two little hellions, then leave your email address and a full length picture. All women should apply, especially Filipino, Thai and anything else you see for sale on the internet. Sorry, just being honest.

 Sincerely,

ty

 P.S.

Over it – Militant minister coverage

All about it- Media trying to dig up “dirt” on Ashley Alexandra Dupre and the ch-ching she is being offered to pose nude from the likes of Larry Flint and Joe Francis. Don’t you just love high-priced ho’s? The ho-locity just pulls you in.

Back from rehab. Not like Brittany and the gang. Rehab like I-got-a-real-job-and-have-been-working-my-ass-off rehab. You know, the kind of rehab where you take a long trip from your normal life and end up becoming one of those people who has to force themselves into having a life outside of work. I can’t believe I have been so immersed in work that I almost became one of those “I don’t have time for a relationship” type of girls. Who the hell does that in real life? Girl, you better get your man! Save all that drama for Tyler Perry’s next movie because my biological clock does not have time to be turning down good, available men. See how I just went from job, to men, to Tyler Perry. Oh yeah, my new ability to multi-task my ass off has given me an extra boost of ADD.

So I’m back to bring joy to your world. I figured since I’m dating Dell, my laptop, I might as well spend some time with him blogging. We spend so much time together that I’ve been neglecting the people I love – family, friends (spoiled bitches who I hope will forgive my one minor outburst), and Ripsi. Despite being away from home a lot, the good thing is that Ripsi has learned to pee on the puppy pad while mommy (that would be me) works countless hours instead of anywhere she damn well pleases. That sweet bitch is fabulous!

Chow for now.

Sincerely, ty!

Guess Who’s Back ~ RAKIM 

P.S. Can somebody please tell me the who, what, when, where, why and were they black (forgive me) of the story about the Kansas woman on the toilet for 2 years and the boyfriend who didn’t give a shit (no pun intended)?

“You know he smokin’ that stuff.”

This is a phrase that I have often heard whispered with seriousness by my parents, aunts, uncles–basically anyone 40 and up. I didn’t understand the significance of the phrase until a few months ago. The first conversation was between my mother and I. She’d been losing a lot of weight recently due to a healthy diet and exercise, and I was very proud of her. Being the asshole that I am, instead of congratulating her with praise I decided to make a joke: “Hey Mom. You lookin’ good. You not smokin’ that stuff are you?” The look she gave me took me back to 1997 when she jacked me up on the kitchen counter. That was one of the two times my mother ever got physical with me. I was so amazed by her quick ability to both jack me up by the collar and elevate me off the floor. Let’s just say, I’d never wanna cross her in a dark alley. Anyway, after the look everything went south, and I basically ended up in tears apologizing.

 The next instance of me using the wrong choice of words was with my father. He too had lost a little weight. I’m still not sure how that happened because his daily diet consists of frozen pizzas, Bluebell Cookies and Cream ice cream, lunchmeat, and canned stew. Doesn’t sound like a healthly selection to me. Nevertheless, he lost a few pounds and asked if I could send a few of his pants to the tailor for adjustments in the waist. Okay, so when he tried on his newly altered pants, he came to me talking about (slightly bragging) that his pants were still a little big. My response, “Well dad, if you stop smokin’ that stuff, then you might be able to fit in your clothes.“  Then to make matters worse, I added, “You gonna start lookin’ like a crackhead soon.” Why did I have to say that? There were no flashbacks of violence involved, but he gave me “the look” too. From there he went off in a tangent about why drug addiction is a serious matter that shouldn’t be dealt with lightly. He also questioned my use of “crackhead” and wondered why I would say such a thing in reference to his weight. If you’re familiar with the relationship between my father and I, you know that I was thoroughly bored with the conversation and did everything to make him SHUT THE HELL UP feel that I had learned my lesson. Love ya Dad!

Was it me, or just my parents? I felt really bad for, in a slight way, calling my parents crackheads. My generation uses the term so loosely, so I figured they knew I was just joking. I thought about it for a while and realized that back in the day there weren’t a fleet of crackheads on every corner. These crackheads we have today are most likely people around my parents age, or slightly younger, that just got caught up. Question: How are these crackheads still alive? I’m convinced that crack has given a small amount of crackheads super powers. How the hell else are they still living? You never hear about them dying of anything other than an overdose or gettin’ shot or something like that. What’s going on with that?

Sincerely, ty

P.S. I love my parents.

Face it, lust (distant cousin to love) makes people crazy and irrational. Why do these equations make sense to a person who won’t let go:

1. she never calls + she never returns my calls = Maybe she’s just busy. 
2. she’s not answering the door + I can see her car in the driveway + I see her peaking out the window = I’ll just wait on her porch.
3. she told me she wasn’t feeling me anymore + she’s dating other people = I still have a chance.

Crazy, huh?

When I was younger, I always wanted my mate to be crazy, head-over-heels in love with me. Not anymore. Crazy in love is great during the good times, but hell when you’re trying to shoot someone the dueces. Now this doesn’t mean I have a penchant for assholes, but I don’t have time to deal with anyone’s abandoment issues.  

Sincerely, ty!

P.S.  Assholes need love too!