Life’s Rarities

White Rapper’s

Rarities of My Life: Let’s just say these things will most likely NEVER happen

  1. Not pushing snooze
  2. Cooking breakfast for the fam @ 5am on Saturday morning
  3. Saying, “No thanks!” to an open bar
  4. Experiencing comfort in a pair of stilettos
  5. Completing my “to do” list
  6. Not telling my girlfriends about the cute guy I met
  7. Forgetting to put on deodorant
  8. Not sucking up to my boss
  9. Missing Grey’s Anatomy
  10. Enjoying the “hip-hop persona” portrayed by white rappers

In most cases, the actuality of the above events happening is extremely rare.  Matter of fact, there’s no chance in hell that 6 out of 10 events will ever occur.  If my family ever expects me to cook them breakfast on my day off, they’ll have to wait until noon—-I could be persuaded to do brunch.  In truth, I am a sucker and could probably be coerced into swaying on most of the topics, except the free open-bar.  Who could say no to a free and unlimited supply of liquor?  However, #10 is on my list of no-no’s. 

When non-black people, or persons who are not characteristically connected or related to the black culture attempt to emulate hip-hop culture (whether successfully or not), I get a bit confused and often defensive.  “Why is this white guy sporting an iced-out Jesus piece?  Is he a super-christian representing JC to the fullest, or does he want us to think he’s down with the homies?”  I never know what to think, and I feel that in my approach to asking, I’d come off extremely judgmental.  It’s always tempting to say to a wigger(that’s not my word, I’m just using it this once…promise), “Why are you acting black?”  That would be really ignorant and disrespectful of me.  Especially being that I can sound a tad bit like a white lady….better yet, I always sound like a white lady.  Can’t help it, it’s just me.  That’s the exact comment that often comes from wiggers (sorry….that’s my last time). 

White people who emulate the grittiness of hip-hop flava try to convince nay-sayers (mostly black people and their disbelieving white homies) that they either grew-up around the culture and just absorbed all the gloriousness of it, or that they are just being true to themselves.  Ummmm…..I don’t think I’m convinced.  So how about a little research.  Where should I start?  How about watching every episode of the new VH1 comedy, The White Rapper Show.  Although the reality series is neither marketed, nor advertised as a comedy, I found the first episode to be nothing but a full-blown comical rendition of So You Think You Can Dance Rap meets The Real World in the Bronx.

Although I pride myself in my limited selections of tube viewing, I had to watch this massacre of hip-hop.  After watching I Love New York, I was already on my path to reality show hell?  Why not top off the night with a sprinkle of white chocolate? 

Sincerely, ty!

P.S. Correction: It’s Egotrip’s The White Rapper Show.  Also,  if you have some free time, and want a good laugh, take a look at the photo album.  Each rapper has at least 3 pictures a piece in their best hard-core, b-boy stances.  You’ll love it! 

P.S. ….again….sorry, but was anyone ever able to rationalize the whole concept of the Ghetto Revival?  If you could educate me on that, I’d be grateful.



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