Yesterday, Americans of all shades and hues took the time to commemorate the legacy of the Reverend Dr. M.L. King. Throughout the nation, bands played, banks closed, and many of us weren’t expected to attend work. That “many of us” included me as I enjoyed the last day of my three-day weekend to the fullest. By the way, what songs do bands usually play for MLK Day? I know it’s a birthday celebration, so I’d expect the Happy Birthday version from Stevie. Other than that, what would be deemed as appropriate for the King’s Parade? Negro Spirituals…Public Enemy’s Fight the Power…James Brown’s Say It Loud? I’ll let you ponder.
To celebrate the legacy of Dr. King, I too stumbled upon a dream. Matter of fact, I had many dreams. As I lied in bed, hours past my usual wake up call and into the beginnings of the afternoon, I was completely dormant. My mind envisioned a world where….
… little black boys and little black girls could enjoy a 30% discount at Nordstrom on MLK day to make up for all the disdain the sales associates give to the little blackies who come in to spend their money. Indeed they may often only make purchases from the sale rack, but a sale is a sale. Just as well, they may splurge on clothes and shoes that they wear only because they saw them on the videos, and as they try on the costly attire in the dressing rooms, they may talk loudly and attempt to squeeze their big asses into jeans that were not made for their figures. But as stated before, a sale is a sale. Sales associates should be grateful that blacks enjoy spending their money on frivolous things instead of putting money into their own communities. For this ungratefulness, I propose that all the high-end stores initiate a discount day for MLK. Say it with me, “Discount day, for MLK…Discount day, for MLK….” If not, black people could always go back to stealing.
… little black boys and little black girls could feel comfortable requesting chicken from the menu without fear that the white waiter would give a little smirk. Chicken is not only a desirable food amongst black folks, but for all mankind. I like to think of it as a safety net. You can alway count on the chicken being edible. One can also rationalize that chicken isn’t often “messed up.” Also, it is common knowledge that you don’t mess around with black people’s food. If you’re dining at a restaurant, especially for the first time, you usually can’t go wrong with the chicken. Pork-chops? Just depends on who’s in the kitchen as well as the selections of gravy. Steak? Not so sure. In reference to the previous statement addressing black folks and their food, be aware that ordering steak might require “takin’ it back”, due to the existence of blood dripping from the interior of the meat. Seems like the rare, medium-rare thing is hard for cooks and patrons to agree on. This would cause another well-known fact to occur—black folks don’t like to wait too long to eat. “Takin’ it back” might cause quite a bit of hostility amongst a black family dining on a Sunday afternoon. Doesn’t even matter if it’s after church. Not even on Easter Sunday.
… little black boys and little black girls would not fear that when presented with a white waiter, that he/she (the white waiter) would offer bad service in assumption that he/she (the white waiter) would be “stiffed” at tip time. Many black people are big tippers. In general, most black people are fair tippers. With that being said, in most cases involving black people, a waiter’s tip starts at $0.00. That ‘s right! You must prove your abilities to 1)take the order correctly 2) not harass the diners too much while the food is in route 3)make sure the food is delivered in a timely manner, and most importantly 4)must not inform any of the patrons dining that the kitchen has “ran out” of anything. If this is done, an upgraded alternate must be offered. If the alternate is not upgraded, it must be free. Sorry, these are the rules. I didn’t make them.
I guess we’re still dreamin’. What a lovely life to be a dream girl. However, in lieu of my dreams, I would like to give big, huge kudos to a real-life Dreamgirl, Jennifer Hudson on her win for Best-Supporting actress at last night’s 2007 Golden Globe Awards.