Club survival kit
- Purse–Preferably designer.
- Gum/Altoids–For obvious reasons.
- Lip gloss–Touch-ups are necessary
- Cellphone–For some reason, people feel the need to be accessible at all times.
- $20–Parking and drinks.
- Credit card–Just in case you put too much thought into your hair and makeup and don’t make the “no cover” deadline, and of course, more drinks.
- Camera–Why not be ghetto like everyone else?
- Raincoat–Yes a raincoat!
- Umbrella–Uhm yeah, in case raincoats aren’t your style.
To celebrate the destruction of a marriage, my closest girlfriends and I decided to paint the town red, in honor of my friend “calling it quits.” Divorce should not be celebrated, but being that liquor would be involved, why not? The night consisted of the usual–hair, makeup, wardrobe, trendy club, sexy people, and getting liquored up. Or should I say, getting liquored down—you’ll catch my drift in a bit.
The scene was hot. I was extremely hot…literally. Note to self: Don’t wear that jacket to the club again…black folks radiate too much heat. Continuing the celebration, my girlfriends and I merged into the sea of gyration with drinks in tow. All was well. The music was Jammin’ On the One(had to put that in Tim), and uhm, I think I smelled some weed. Just thought I’d add that interjection. Suddenly (here comes the clincher), a
nice young, lady tall, lanky, set-ponytail wearing girl decides to split the sea of gyration. All I heard was “Blah, blah, blah Bitch!” Then, “SWISH!” Set-ponytail girl poured a perfectly good drink (probably actually water) on one of the cutest, most chocolatiest, scrumptious guys at the club. To make matters worse, he was standing next to me–I didn’t get wet. To make matters even more worse, her aim was bad and she poured the drink on the wrong guy. To make matters better (for me), Mr. Cutest Chocolatiest Scrumptious took off his shirt.
We never got to the bottom of the fiasco. Matter of fact, everyone actually forgot about it when a ball player showed up.
So what have we learned:
- Divorce can be a joyous occasion
- Weed is legal, but only at tsyrT
- Set-ponytails are trying to make their way back in style
- Professional ball players automatically avert one’s attention away from the situation
P.S. Kudos to Mr. Cutest Chocolatiest Scrumptious for keeping his cool.