First and foremost, I would like to say that I love the gays. Matter of fact, one of the highlights of my high school career was having a gay, male cheerleader on my squad. We (me and the rest of the squad) loved him, and the feelings were reciprocated. When it came time to prance, he was there. Just as well, when it came time to scrap, he was there ready and quick to deepen his voice and come to our defense as a protector, a friend, and overall—a man. Now with that being said, I’d also like to state that I don’t care too much for the shims (she and him at the same time) who ruin it for all the other self-respecting gays.
Years ago a dear friend of mine, who happens to be an O.G. (Original Gay) in the homosexual world, informed me that young gay men who have recently become official members of the club often over-exaggerate their “gayness” until they become comfortable being gay in their own skin. Sounds harmless, but unfortunately the rest of the world must suffer while shims around the world come out. At first I didn’t completely understand my O.G. friend, but now I understand exactly. Before you get excited—just because I understand, doesn’t mean I agree.
Last week a young gay man, who is a sophomore at my Alma mater, decided to ‘come out’ to the world as a trans-gender. Fully-clothed in this season’s most fashionable stilettos, jeans, red belt, and wait for it…wait for it…wait…a wig. What trans-gender/cross dresser/drag queen ensemble wouldn’t be complete without a wig? Great! Congrats to you young man for making strides for the GLBT community. NEGATIVE! I say NO! Why do I say NO?
First of all, before anyone gets their panties in a wad (women and now apparently men), I don’t care anything about Rodney (oh yeah, that’s his name) being gay. Remember the first sentence, “…I love the gays.” I say NO because now Rodney has ruined it for everybody. He brought his ass to school in a wig and full drag ensemble. Now the school board will probably petition for mandatory school uniforms for everyone. Selfish, selfish, selfish.
Before I go off in a tirade, I’d like to offer Rodney a few tips. I am not here to hurt him nor bash him, only to help. If you are a struggling teen trans-gender, or know anyone who is, feel free to take my advice.
- Change your name. Rodney’s not a good name for a drag queen. A few friends of mine and I took the liberty of coming up with a few for you–Raven, Randi (that was mine), Robin, Tori, Anastacia (exotic—-Is s/he black? Is s/he white?)
- Less is more. I understand that you feel comfortable as a woman. More power to you! But perhaps you could tone it down a bit. I know tons of gay guys who have several people-friendly drag garbs, and from what your mother said, you look like a girl whether you’re “dressed up or not.”
- From 8:30-3:35, you’re a male. Sorry, that’s the way school works. At 3:36 you can be whoever you want to be.
- Don’t blame the school. Rodney was quoted as saying, “When I try and do the whole cross-dressing thing, everything just blows up in my face…I can’t be who I am. They basically stripped me of who I am.” I feel 100% confident in saying that the school wasn’t expecting all that fabulousness you were trying to penetrate. ‘Coming out’, which I’m sensing you were trying to do, is not easy for many—not even you son.
- You are normal…kinda. Every teenager struggles with finding out who they are. Hell, I thought I was white until the 6th grade. You’ll probably be about 2 different people before you turn 25.
- Go hard or go home. If you’re gonna do drag, do it right. Two words- Harmonica Sunbeam. If you wanna learn how to maximize your look with make-up, try emulating the best. Worked for me.
In summary, to me the flamboyant, skipping, snapping gay man is as harmful a stereotype as the chicken eating, big-booty, 5 baby daddy having, weave down her back, black woman stereotype. Just as black women try to erase the aforementioned stereotype, so do gay men. So to Rodney, and all the other young, gay men who may need a little assistance getting their gay on, check this out: National Black Justice Coalition. This organization is dedicated to empowering the gay community. Take a look at the site, and believe me, you won’t see any men wearing wigs or heels. These are the people who are fighting for your equality as a gay man, so stop ruining it for everybody else.
P.S. Keith Boykin is my fave gay. Harvard educated, cute, and dimples (yum).