Say What?


I think I’ve reached my limit of inappropriate office antics. Somehow, every time I make a snide/explicit comment, the CFO of the company happens to hear me. How does he do it? I don’t know. It’s inevitable! Anytime I wanna cut loose, he’s right there. Today the phone rang, and I noticed the number was that of a co-worker. Since I knew who it was, I really didn’t think it was necessary to go through the whole, “Blah, Blah, Blah. This is Ty. How may I help you?”  So I decided to go with this one instead, “Sambuca’s Sex Shop. This is Ty.”  Why did I say that? And why was I so loud? Meanwhile, the CFO (aka the signee of my checks) was in a meeting across the hall and suddenly stopped mid-conversation. I’m still not sure if he stopped speaking because he heard me, or because he was done. I’m scared! I just know that at the end of the day I’m gonna have one of those conversations that starts out with, “Hey Ty, can I talk to you for a second?”

Update: Don’t think I’m in trouble. Yea! At least not that bad. After the meeting, they (the CFO and the other important people) offered me their delicious, over-priced desserts from the meeting. I know I shouldn’t get excited over their left-overs, but the pastry spread from La Madeleine is DEE-LISH. 

After stuffing my face with a slice of cheesecake the size of Texas, I received the most random phone call. Apparently someone charged some hair extensions to my boss’ an un-named employee’s credit card, and the company was calling for verification. So I’m on the phone like, “Now, what did you say Mr. So and So ordered. Hair extensions? Umm…I don’t think he would need those.” From there, I put the person on hold and had to call  my boss’ the un-named employee’s assistant to fill her in on the details. Imagine trying to explain to someone that their boss needs to verify credit card charges for some hair extensions. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that or if I’ll ever be able to look at my boss the un-named employee the same. I just can’t get over that fact that somebody (either that un-named person or somebody in the household) ordered some weave. Wonder what kind it was? Didn’t know you could order weave? Anyway, that was the highlight of my day. My side is still throbbing from the pains of laughter. Now my neck is starting to hurt too. You know like when you can’t laugh aloud, so you have to do that I-sound-like-I’m-choking-on-Menthols laugh. That’s me right now.

Sincerely, ty!

P.S. I’ve been over-analyzing the whole pastry spread donation situation. My mind wonders if they (the important people) offered me the pastries because  a)I was probably gonna be the one to clean up that left-over sh** anyway  b)I looked like I could use an extra meal  c)they witnessed me drooling when I saw the delivery man set-up the luncheon.


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