You Got to Cool it Now

Happy Birthday to Me

For those of you who’ve been keeping up with my blog/life/weekly ramblings, you know that I’ve been contemplating checking myself into rehab. So far, I haven’t had the urge to kill anyone,  take a hanful of pills, or jump off any tall buidlings–guess it’s safe to say the storm has passed. This weekend I came to find out a few things about myself that just make me the person I am and ultimately rule out my need for rehab.

  • I have a slight case of split personalities. Sweet, friendly and quiet one minute, confrontational, objective, impatient, whiny, overbearing, and slightly hostile the next.
  • If I tell you I don’t give a sh**, then I really don’t give a sh**. Stop talking about it and move on.
  • I have all the answers to everyone else’s problems except my own.
  • A.D.D. causes me to cut-off others (mid-conversation), shift my mind and eyes to more interesting areas (mid-conversation), or ultimately stop listening (mid-conversation) and scream, “Ok, skip all that and just tell me what happened!”
  • To me, commercials are a time to discuss the previous viewing. What happened? Who was that man chasing them? Commercials are merely useless bits of enterntainment that truly serve no purpose, and therefore you don’t need to keep the volume up sky high while they are playing. Put the tv on mute!!! Who needs to hear, see and become totally immersed in the commercial?
  • Comfy flip-flops, lip gloss and my new deodorant are my new bestfriends. I didn’t realize how much I cherished them until I was forced to treat them badly at the airport this weekend. TSA believes my deordant and lip gloss pose a potential threat, therefore I was forced to separate them from the other contents of my makeup bag and purse, and place them into a tacky zip-lock bag. I just know they hated it in there. Then I forgot about the “no-shoes” procedure and reluctantly walked barefoot on cold, hard linoleum. My flip-flops did not approve of being push aside only to return to cold, clammy feet.
  • Throughout the weekend, I have truly become in touch with myself–thanks to the 2 1/2 hour flight delay. I am the quintessential VIRGO and I love it! Coming to grips with all that is Ty has helped me to realize that I really like myself, and I appreciate all my family and friends who put up with me day after day, year after year. So, I say thanks for putting up with my madness for 28 years (today’s my birthday), and thanks for keeping me out of rehab for at least one more month.

     Sincerely, ty!

    P.S. “Joyeaux Anniversaire. Joyeaux Anniversaire.”


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