I really wish you people would stop reading this madness. Seriously, please stop. Everytime I think of finally committing myself, I take a look at the blog stats and think, ‘Ahhh, someone actually gives a fat rat.’ But for real, for real – whoever is reading this madness, THANKS!
Anyway honeys, I am currently in Africa. Can’t tell you where and why. It’s on some ‘If I tell you I’ll have to kill you’ type of tip. But I am definitely here and it has been a great learning experience. The land is beautiful and the people are enchanting. I can’t think of a better place to be…other than America.
Being an American has never felt better than it has these past weeks. You guys at home are living the good life – Starbucks, stawberries, cupcakes, Taco Bueno, fresh spinach leaves, Secret Clinical strength. You think there’s any of that stuff here in Africa? Think again, suckas. I can’t get a cupcake or an acceptable pastry to save my life. I order the chocolate cake every other day or so just to see if it’s fresh. Wrong move! Same dry-ass cake everytime. And good thing I didn’t go with the Oh-I’ll-just-get-it-in-Africa approach. Let’s just say the healthy/beauty and feminine hygiene section is lacking. A girl’s gotta have options.
Back to my proud to be an American moment. These people are broke for real. Not the I-have-to-use-food-stamps kinda broke, or the I’m-a-single-mother broke, but the deordorant-and-shoes-are-optional type of broke. Now I know there are plenty of poverty stricken people in American, but I can do nothing but crack up when I even compare the two. Last week, upon my arrival to the airport, I saw a one-legged, one-crutched man hop full-speed in my direction, offering (begging) to carry my luggage. How was he gonna do it? I don’t know. And then there are tons of paraplegic people here without wheelchairs. They get wherever they need to go the best way they can, which is usually by hand. So the next time one of DC’s finest asks me for change, I’ll say, “Two legs and a Nike shirt? Sorry, I’m not getting enough suffering from you.”
I promise I won’t get all righteous on you guys. And if I do, it’ll only last a week.
Pray for me while I’m away.