ATTENTION FELLAS: Philanthropy is sexy! I thought I was alone with this thought, but apparently the attached campaign from Men’s Warehouse agrees with me. However, I’m not completely on board with philanthropic actions executed with the intent of getting “laid.” Nevertheless, it’s for a good cause, right? Let’s keep telling ourselves that.
TRUE STORY: Recently a friend and I visited Virginia Beach. The friend: tall, brown, handsome and civic-minded. Me: Awesome in every way. At the end of our trip, we were seduced by the Dairy Queen (DQ) and decided to give in to temptation. As we approached the line, a woman in a wheelchair and her children rudely cut in front of us. My friend and I looked at the family in disgust, but quickly changed our scoffs to looks of concern. At initial sight of the family, it was clear that a lavish lifestyle was something they lacked, steak was never on the menu and paychecks were spent before they were received. Kind of like me (except I’m ballin’ on a budget and I don’t eat beef). The woman began to give her sob story to the cashier, Andrew, about how her car was towed from the DQ parking lot, and she barely had enough money to take her kids to the beach to have a good time, let alone pay tow charges.
As my friend and I, ping-ponged back and forth between Andrew and the woman, we began to feel sorry for her situation. As the woman continued to inform Andrew of the issue, my friend and I observed the parking lot behind us, noticing that there was no visible sign to indicate that towing was enforced. At this point, the woman was crying. Andrew, on the other hand was giving zero f*cks about the matter and took out his frustration on his next customers (friend and I). Never in my life has ordering a tasty treat of delicious goodness felt so forceful. “Is that it?” Andrew asked my friend after taking the order for the first tasty treat. Being affected by the recent events (and being a little indecisive), I took a while to order my treat. Most likely it took 45 seconds, but that can be an eternity in fast-food land. Should’ve known better than to linger because Andrew’s lack of consideration for the woman, me ( and my indecisiveness) and all of mankind in general was taken out on my treat. Ice cream never looked so sad and disheveled. He didn’t even blend the Oreos. Such a jerk.
After the treats were paid for and received, I questioned whether or not I should go back and complain to Andrew’s boss. No because of the ice cream, but because his attitude was the absolute worst. Walking we saw the woman again with her family. This time her husband was near and she was on the pay phone sobbing again. I’m assuming she was on the phone with the tow company. Without missing a beat, my tall, brown, handsome, civic-minded friend reaches in his wallet and hands the woman a nice bill. AAAAAHHHHHH! That was SO SEXY! I wish you could have been there. So yes fellas, philanthropy is indeed sexy.
P.S. I drove to the tow lot in attempt to pull at the owner’s heart strings. My goal was to settle the woman’s tow charges for $50, but because God looks out for us, he completely turned the owner’s thoughts and the tow charges were erased from the books. Like my mother says, “Ain’t God good?” I agree! Or should I say, “Amen!”